Its been an interesting week. I am excited that its a new year, the freshness it brings, the goals it makes me ponder and the new start.. but honestly I am already burnt out. I haven’t been sleeping very good or enough (due to a little dude with bad dreams or that has just recently started walking into our room in the middle of the night and has never done that before) which I know affects me alot. So between less sleep and trying new goals I guess its a bit much. I don’t feel like I have any motivation and am dragging and just want to lay around all day watching TV which only sucks the life out of me more. I want to make my days count for something not just trying to get by and pushing through. Its not really that big of deal (feels like it at times, but trying not to go by my feelings, so darn hard) and its not a bad week just challenging and draining. But I am still very blessed and have alot to look forward to this year.
I am really enjoying having a house, its so nice to be able to drive up and say wow, this is my home. Its great to not worry about Justice being too loud and letting him run around and be himself. Looking forward to hosting more dinners here and having more space to do so. Daniel is putting in our new garage door this weekend so that will be great, one step closer to being able to press a button and pulling in to unload kiddos and groceries and also having a warmer vehicle to get into and not having to deal with rain and snow.
Its getting closer to baby time now, which thrills me and scares me to death both at the same time. How to have enough patience for 2, energy for 2, making time for husband still and learning a new “normal.” I am 32 weeks now and thinking wow next month I get to meet my sweet baby girl is fun, what will she look like, how different will she be as a baby compared to Justice. Will my delivery and labor go better, oh the pain??!! Excited to do things different and have my wonderful SIL/Doula there to support us and make it a great experience. This next weekend 3 of my dearest girlfriends are throwing me a baby shower.. so wonderful and fun, can’t wait to put the final touches on the nursery afterwards, wash clothes and make sure we are ready to roll. My goal is to have all my checklist finished by the first of February just to make it a relaxing few weeks before she is born and to be prepared in case she comes way early, as you never know. Better be safe than sorry I suppose. I just registered online for the hospital admin office today, so crazy, each step makes it so real! I love looking into her nursery, so beautiful and girly.
Gosh not sure what happened this afternoon but my sweet boy had an awful afternoon when he woke up from nap time I was determined to play with him more and make things fun.. it all was a disaster! Must have been a test or something as I set out to make things fun and we dealt with huge attitude issues and disobedience galore… not fun at all. But I was proud of myself for not losing it and going nuts. Stayed calm and in control, knowing that this too shall pass. Hubby came home and I was not a disaster as I thought he wouldn’t appreciate that!! Daniel handled it beautifully and then graciously offered to take Justice with him to the church later as he was meeting up with a buddy to do some measuring and work on a project there..so I got to cash in on my pedicure gift certificate and finish a book I was reading, was pure bliss! Teamwork in marriage is a beautiful thing! I came home to my boys having a jam session, Justice was playing his harmonica and Daniel was playing the guitar, was a great ending to the day!
Heard this song on my way home, really captures what I have been feeling! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKSQjSdU8VA
Well thats all I need to get off my chest for now, it felt good to be able to write down my crazy thoughts today, a girl needs that now and then! Thanks Diary, Signing off for now.. Sarah